Why do I feel suicidal?
For the majority of people thinking about suicide, it is a very conflicted, lonely and exhausting time. The chances are, despite how awful things feel right now, there is a part of you that really wants to live, but perhaps you are no longer sure how to do so with the problems you face. We are so sorry things feel that bad right now. We know that when things feel overwhelming, suicide may feel like it offers a viable solution.
However, it’s really important to remember that:
- there is help out there
- many times this feeling is transient and if you can keep safe until these feelings of overwhelm pass, you will almost certainly be relieved you did.
If you are unable to keep yourself safe please click here.
Suicidal thoughts and feelings are incredibly individual and may be confusing. It’s almost never as simple as it may seem to others, and rarely is there a straightforward single reason. There are, however, some all too common themes that are often expressed by individuals who have been or are considering suicide: inability to resolve a problem/s; lack of self-worth and/or purpose; harmful relationships; feeling stuck/trapped; significant debt and being overwhelmed or a combination of all these factors.
It’s important to differentiate between suicidal thoughts/feelings and suicidal behaviour and actions. Many people experience suicidal thoughts; often, they are fleeting and leave as quickly as they arrive. When they persist, finding something to distract themselves or someone to talk to – a friend, a family member, a professional or a charity call responder such as The Samaritans (116 123), can be key in keeping safe.
A little more on suicidal thoughts: when people feel overwhelmed, the emotions being felt are being processed in a part of the brain that can respond quickly to threats and will go into autopilot in terms of our response. That response includes releasing a cocktail of hormones that take the body into a ‘factory setting’ response that we can refer to as ‘The 5 Fs – Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn, Flop’. Part of that response shuts down our higher-order thinking, like logic, curiosity, etc. Many systems go offline while others go on high alert. Ironically, feeling overwhelmed is likely to cause an internal chemical reaction that literally stops us from thinking clearly and consequently keeps us in an overwhelmed and panicked state, but it does. A person may be unable to think clearly or make a simple decision such as if they want tea or coffee, let alone work out what the best option may be to end the feeling of overwhelm. It can feel so overwhelming that, in that moment, and without full access to your brilliant problem-solving skills, suicide can feel like an increasingly viable option.
At times of overwhelm, difficult thoughts can surface. If that has ever been true for you, please know this: thoughts are not actions, and they are not instructions. There are many other ways to navigate pain, even if they are hard to see in the moment.
If you are feeling unsafe, distressed, or struggling with thoughts about harming yourself, you deserve immediate support. You do not have to manage this alone. Reaching out to someone you trust or a professional service can help you stay safe while the intensity passes. Need Help Now?
If you only take one thing away from reading this, know that you are not alone and there is a range of support out there that can help you get through this difficult time.
