Ask directly

Talking openly about suicide can feel uncomfortable or frightening, but asking someone directly about suicidal thoughts does not put the idea into their head. In fact, asking clearly and compassionately can help someone feel seen, understood and less alone. A calm, direct question can create space for openness, connection and support.

Asking directly:

  • shows you are taking the person seriously
  • gives permission for honest conversation
  • reduces shame and secrecy
  • helps you better understand the level of risk and support needed
  • can be the first step towards safety and support

  • gives clarity

You do not need to be a mental health professional to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide. You simply need to be calm, compassionate, non-judgemental and willing to listen.

How to ask directly

“Are you thinking about suicide?”

“Are you having thoughts about ending your life?”

“Sometimes when people feel overwhelmed, they are thinking about suicide. Is that happening for you?”

“Are you thinking about hurting yourself or ending your life?”

Ask calmly and gently. Give the person time to answer. Try not to panic, interrupt or rush to solve things immediately.

Using FIDO to understand more

If someone says yes, the FIDO approach can help guide a supportive conversation and clarify what support may be needed.

Put Simply:

  • Ask directly about suicide
  • Asking directly won’t put the thought in their head
  • Stay calm and listen without judgement
  • Use FIDO to understand more and support safely.